Before Vision, Strategy, or Goals: Character in Leadership
Individual and couples counseling marriage premarital marital counseling Sandra Lee Loveland Fort Collins Windsor CO Christian Counselor Licensed Therapist
The beginning of a new year often brings quiet questions about direction. Where are we headed? What needs to shift? What feels uncertain? For leaders, those questions carry added weight. Leadership is not only about personal discernment. It involves responsibility for others, influence, and direction. The choices leaders make shape homes, classrooms, churches, organizations, and communities.
That weight can feel especially heavy in January.
Leaders are often asked to offer clarity when others feel unsure and steadiness when others feel tired. Whether leading a family, a classroom, a ministry, or a team, leadership asks us to hold space for people while helping them move forward. Scripture reminds us that this kind of wisdom does not come from ourselves alone. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God” (James 1:5).
The Bible points us to something deeper than skill or strategy. Leadership begins with relationship with God. Discernment without intimacy becomes reactive. Direction without formation becomes heavy handed. Jesus modeled a way of leading rooted in love, character, and trust, and that model matters now more than ever.
Jesus Did Not Lead Through Fear, Position, Image, or Force
Jesus did not rely on titles, hierarchy, or control to gain influence. He did not lead through fear, position, image, or force. His authority flowed from who He was, not the role He held. People began to follow Him because they were seen, known, and loved.
This is something Timothy Keller taught with remarkable clarity. He consistently emphasized that spiritual gifts, including leadership, are empty without the fruit of the Spirit shaping the leader’s character. Paul makes this unmistakable in 1 Corinthians 13:
“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”
1 Corinthians 13:1–2
Paul is not minimizing leadership ability here. He is exposing something far more sobering. Giftedness without character is hollow. Leadership skill without love and relationship may look temporarily impressive, but Scripture calls it empty. Not adequate or even incomplete, but empty.
Jesus confronted this exact issue in the religious leaders of His day. They knew the Law. They held positions of authority. They were outwardly impressive. Yet their leadership was rooted in self protection, image, and control rather than love. They burdened people instead of shepherding them. They used truth without compassion and authority without humility. Jesus reserved His strongest rebukes for leaders who knew the rules but missed the heart of God.
Love That Moves First
When Scripture commands us to love one another, it often uses the Hebrew word ahavah, as in “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18). Ahavah is not passive affection or emotional reaction. It is chosen, directional love. Love that moves toward the other rather than waiting to be approached. The command itself assumes initiative.
This matters because some leaders tend to wait. Not always out of indifference, but out of pressure or exhaustion. Leaders are stretched thin, carrying responsibilities that make relational initiation feel impractical. It can feel unrealistic to connect meaningfully with everyone, or easy to assume people will speak up if they need something. Over time, leadership roles can unintentionally create distance, where influence replaces approachability and connection becomes reactive rather than pursued.
Biblical love gently challenges this posture. Ahavah calls the one with greater responsibility to move first.
Jesus reaffirmed this command and embodied it. When asked about the greatest commandment, He placed love of God and love of neighbor at the center of all obedience (Matthew 22:37–40). But Jesus did more than teach ahavah. He lived it. He consistently moved toward people first, initiating relationships before repentance, belonging before behavior, and calling before competence. In doing so, He revealed that biblical love is not reactive or conditional. It is intentional, initiating, and rooted in seeing others as image bearers of God.
For leaders, this reshapes responsibility. Love is not something we wait to feel or receive. It is something we initiate, model, and steward, especially when we hold influence or authority.
Love Looks Like Fruit, Not a Checklist
Because biblical love is initiating, it must also be forming.
Scripture does not leave love undefined. It names the fruit of the Spirit clearly: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Scripture is intentional here. The fruit is singular, not plural. These qualities are not boxes to check off. They are the integrated evidence of a life being formed by the Holy Spirit.
This matters for leaders.
The fruit of the Spirit is not about behavior management or image control. It is about inner formation. It develops over time through consistency, humility, restraint, and care. These are not personality traits or leadership styles. They cannot be manufactured through pressure, charisma, or performance.
Without the fruit of the Spirit, leadership becomes fragile. It may produce short term results, but it will not produce trust. It may enforce compliance, but it will not cultivate discipleship. Over time, people disengage emotionally, do the bare minimum to get by, or leave if they have the choice. This plays out in families, classrooms, churches, and organizations alike.
Love shaped by the Spirit does something different. It creates safety. It invites honesty. It allows people to grow together in unity and joy, without fear of humiliation or rejection. And that kind of love forms people far more effectively than any checklist ever could.
Servant Leadership Begins With the Inner Life and the Relational Life
Biblical leadership begins internally, but it never stays there.
Jesus had a deep, abiding relationship with the Father. He prayed consistently. He knew Scripture intimately. His leadership flowed from obedience, surrender, and intimacy with God.
At the same time, Jesus was deeply present with people. He knew names, stories, fears, and hopes. He did not engage superficially. He did not confuse proximity with relationship.
There is a meaningful difference between a polite “Hey, how are you?” and “How are Jane and John doing? You mentioned they were visiting this week. How can I pray for you?” People sense the difference immediately. One feels transactional. The other feels shepherding.
Servant leadership requires both: Loving the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and loving your neighbor as yourself. A leader rooted in God and genuinely attentive to people. Without love for God, leadership easily becomes ego driven. Without love for others, leadership becomes distant and disingenuous.
Leadership pressure exposes whatever is unformed or unhealed within us. Fear of failure. The need for power and control. Pride. The desire for approval. These surface quickly under responsibility.
Jesus regularly withdrew to pray. Not because He lacked strength, but because He understood that leadership without abiding becomes reactive. Servant leadership requires self awareness. Leaders must be willing to be formed before attempting to form others.
This matters deeply in every context. In homes, children are shaped more by who we are than what we say. In schools, churches, organizations, and communities, the same is true.
Trust Is Built Through Consistency and Care
From both Scripture and psychology, the pattern is clear. People flourish under leaders who are emotionally regulated, consistent, and safe. The fruit of the Spirit creates safety. Safety builds trust. And trust is the foundation of every healthy relationship.
People know when a relationship exists only for a leader’s gain or obligation. They also know when they are truly seen. Leaders who remember details, follow up, show restraint under pressure, and repair when they miss the mark create environments where people can grow without fear.
Jesus led this way. He was steady. He was present. He was not reactive. And people trusted Him because His love was reliable.
Transactional Versus Transformational Leadership
Many leadership systems rely heavily on transactional leadership. Expectations are clear. Rewards are offered for performance. Consequences follow failure. This model can be helpful for short term structure and accountability.
But when leadership stays here, motivation remains external and fragile.
Transformational leadership goes deeper. It is meaning and mission oriented. It invites people into purpose rather than simply checking boxes or doing the bare minimum. Research consistently shows that transformational leaders foster greater engagement, creativity, resilience, and long term commitment.
One of the clearest separations between mediocre leadership and great leadership is this: Great leaders empower others to thrive. They intentionally create space for people to grow, lead, and make an impact that may one day exceed their own.
Transformational leaders are not threatened by growth. They validate others by communicating, sometimes quietly, that you are seen, your voice matters, and your contribution is valuable. This kind of leadership multiplies influence rather than hoarding it.
Jesus led this way. He equipped His disciples, entrusted them with responsibility, sent them out, and rejoiced in their obedience. He did not diminish others to preserve authority. He expanded the mission by lifting others up.
But empowering people also requires knowing how to challenge them well.
Challenging People With Dignity
One of the most delicate responsibilities of leadership is knowing how to challenge people without damaging their spirit.
When trust has been established, leaders can call others forward with clarity rather than fear. Healthy leaders challenge from a relational foundation. They hold standards while remaining emotionally present. They correct behavior without puffing themselves up, asserting superiority, attacking identity, or resorting to shame.
Biblical leadership understands that correction is not about control, but stewardship. Leaders are called to recognize the image of God in others and the gifts God has entrusted to them. Effective challenge names both responsibility and potential. It addresses what needs to change while still empowering who a person is and who they are becoming.
This kind of leadership requires humility. It means resisting the urge to protect ego, authority, or image. It means removing obstacles rather than becoming one, and refusing to let insecurity or pride interfere with another person’s growth.
From both Scripture and psychology, we see the same truth. People are most open to correction when they feel safe, respected, and valued. Challenge without dignity leads to guarded compliance or disengagement. Challenge offered with dignity invites meaningful, long term growth.
Jesus modeled this perfectly. He never lowered the standard, but He never stripped people of dignity. His correction clarified, strengthened, and called people higher without crushing their spirit.
A Few Anchoring Practices for Leaders
Stay rooted in the Word daily.
Scripture is not optional reading for leaders. It is formative. It shapes how we see God, how we see ourselves, and how we see the people entrusted to us. Being in the Word daily recalibrates our posture, exposes blind spots, and anchors us in truth when pressure distorts perspective. It trains us to see others not through convenience or frustration, but through God’s design, calling, and intent.Practice prayer that adores, not just asks.
Prayer matters just as much as Scripture. Not only prayer that brings requests, but prayer that lingers in adoration. Naming and declaring God’s character faithful, patient, just, merciful, present, unchanging shapes our leadership more than we realize. As we focus on who God is, our leadership begins to mirror His nature rather than our reactivity.Examine your own strengths and shortcomings honestly.
Healthy leadership requires self examination. Leaders are called to know their strengths, but also to acknowledge their limitations, insecurities, and areas of growth. Scripture invites us to examine ourselves not for condemnation, but for formation. This awareness helps us recognize when pride, fear, or control may be getting in the way of leading others well.Examine others with care and discernment.
Biblical leadership is attentive and unifying. Wise leaders seek to understand the strengths, limitations, and God given gifts of those they lead, not to rank or compare, but to steward them well. They empower people to use those gifts fully and remove unnecessary obstacles that hinder growth. They do not compete with potential or diminish others to preserve influence. Instead, they create space for others to thrive, knowing that unity is strengthened when people are valued for how God has uniquely formed them. Leadership rooted in insecurity breeds comparison and division. Leadership rooted in discernment cultivates trust and cohesion.Prioritize relationship before the mission.
In Scripture, people always come before outcomes. Jesus never treated relationships as a means to accomplish a goal. He built trust, shared life, and walked with people long before sending them out. When leaders prioritize mission without relationship, people feel used, hurt, and distant, and division quietly follows. When relationship comes first, unity grows. Mission becomes meaningful, shared, and sustainable because people are moving together rather than being driven forward.Seek wise counsel and do not lead alone.
Leadership was never meant to be solitary. Seeking counsel from trusted mentors, spiritual leaders, or wise peers protects us from isolation and blind spots. God often forms us through community, correction, and shared wisdom.Rest regularly to be with God.
Jesus modeled this dependence clearly. He regularly withdrew not simply to rest, but to spend time alone with the Father in prayer. Leadership that does not return to God becomes reactive. Formation requires intentional withdrawal, rest, and dependence for ongoing communion with Him.
These practices are not about perfection. They are about posture. A posture of humility, dependence, and willingness to be formed by God before attempting to form others.
A Prayer for Leaders
Lord,
You see the weight leaders carry, often quietly and unseen.
Form our hearts before You shape our influence.
Grow Your fruit in us before You expand our responsibilities.
Teach us to lead from love, not fear, from humility, not image, from trust, not control.
Help us abide in You, so our leadership flows from intimacy with You rather than striving.
May our leadership reflect Your heart and bring life to those we serve.
In Jesus’ Name. Amen.